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The Museum Of Bad Art (MOBA) Newsletter, Issue #58
November 8, 1998


ESTEEMED CURATOR IN SORDID SCANDAL

For these past many months the population at large, across the political spectrum, has begged for something to displace the Monica Lewinsky story in the media. Finally, two weeks ago the prayers of Boston area residents were answered. Unfortunately for this institution, the replacement was our Esteemed Curator, Mr. Scott Wilson, publicly prostituting himself on the Boston airwaves.

Mr. Wilson has been featured on a radio ad for Cellular One that has been playing round the clock on every major radio station in Boston. His Esteemedness has been using the good name Of MOBA to shamelessly hawk cellular phones to every radio listener within hundreds of miles Of MOBA's World Headquarters.

Upon hearing of the ad, MOBA's Executive Director Jerry Reilly was absolutely shocked. Mr. Reilly has known the curator for many years and has been well aware of his occasional lack of scruples. Until this moment though, he had always believed that the curator's unparalleled curatorial prowess more than made up for his occasional sleazy behavior. This was something far different though, his lack of moral judgment was now impinging on the reputation of the museum.

When the Esteemed Curator arrived hours later, the by now highly agitated Executive Director was waiting in his office. Upon being confronted with the accusations of outrageous abuse of authority, Mr. Wilson was overheard by one office eavesdropper to say "Hey whatdaya want from me, they offered me a few bucks, some quick cash, what's the big deal?". Mr. Reilly thundered in a self righteous roar of bluster -- "I won't have a two bit, money-grubbing, shameless huckster bring down the good name of this museum" and stormed off to call the Board of Directors.

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MOBA ON THE ROAD

A heady time was had by the record throng that attended the opening of the Museum Of Bad Art's September exhibit at Arlington VA's Ellipse Gallery. Never before have paintings from the Permanent Collection ever left the museum's possession... and never before had they been shown in the swanky setting they so richly deserves. From Peter, the Armani suited doorman, to the docents in uniform MOBA t-shirts, the gorgeous 30 gazillion cubic feet space allowed each startling item to be isolated just enough from it's neighbors to allow true appreciation of each precious piece. A heady time was had by the record throng that attended the opening of the Museum Of Bad Art's September exhibit at Arlington VA's Ellipse Gallery. Never before have paintings from the Permanent Collection ever left the museum's possession... and never before had they been shown in the swanky setting they so richly deserves. From Peter, the Armani suited doorman, to the docents in uniform MOBA T shirts, the gorgeous 30 gazillion cubic feet space allowed each startling item to be isolated just enough from it's neighbors to allow true appreciation of each precious piece.

Highlights of the evening included the unveiling of "Venus of the Highway" by it's creator Mary Morsch. This was followed by an illuminating and inspiring co-presentation by MOBA's Executive Director, Ms. Jerry Reilly and the Esteemed Curator, Ms. Wilson. As they began their talk, it first appeared that three members of the gigantic audience walked out in disgust. MOBA's Mr. Louise Sacco, Director of Financial Enablement, caught the last of the trio in a running tackle, begging him to buy MOBA postcards as a souvenir of his evening. She was delighted to find he was just popping home to bring his wedding portrait as a submission to the Esteemed Curator. Not only was the number of recorded walkouts reduced by 33%, but the crowd increased when he returned with his wife.

At an impromptu evaluation session, the hosts hissed and aaaaahed as piece after piece was presented. Unswayed, and oblivious to what another curator might have considered extreme pressure of popular opinion of the sort that brings gigantic Monet and Picasso exhibits to other museums, Mr. Wilson remained cool and aloof, appraising each work on it's own lack of merits.

The staff of the Museum Of Bad Art offers their profuse thanks and praised the courage and vision of Ms. Judy Van Dyke, her staff and colleagues for helping MOBA bring "the worst of art to the widest of audiences" in style. The show ran until mid October and broke all attendance records for the gallery. Late last week as the moving truck pulled into the MOBA loading dock and the returning paintings were safely unloaded into their vault, the entire staff breathed a sigh of relief at having the collection home again -- safe and sound.

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NEW ACQUISITIONS

Apart from the "Arlington Acquisitions" which will be reported on as soon as the lazy shipping room staff remove the bubble wrap, MOBA has had a fertile few months of pickings. We bring a sample to your attention in this current issue.

The Lady Chardonnay
By an unknown artist
Acquired by Scott Wilson at a yard sale

This sublime representation of a dancer, teetering impossibly en pointe, comes complete with a poodle's head. A mystery surrounds the center of gravity in this gyroscopic representation of one bitchin' babe.

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Master Rudolph
by Quen
Donated by the artist

A yellow haired youth glowers, cape clad, from a purple orifice, trimmed with daisies. This organically arresting work captures the soul of the subject in a hissy fit, with all of his lavender complexity.

Apologies to MS. Christine House who was misrepresented as Mr. Chris House in the last MOBA News. MS. House is the artist who donated the incomparable and inexplicable "Goddess Fries Fish", which will be unveiled at the upcoming "Art In The Gutter" exhibition. The editorial staff of the MOBA News offers up its most abject apology to Ms. House. The staff was appalled to learn that we have added a knack for screwing up gender in addition to our well documented proclivity for erroneous dates.

Details of the influx of new acquisitions will follow in the next few MOBA News.

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FROM THE MAILROOM

Dear MOBA,

I just heard a CellOne ad with the Director Of MOBA as the principle pitch man. What's going on? Hope all is well with you.

Regards,
Peter D. Sawyer

Dear Mr. Sawyer

We too were appalled when we heard our Esteemed Curator on a Cellular One ad. And we happen to know for a fact that he has never owned a cellular phone! Perhaps it's time to change his title to "Esteemed Phoney".

Sincerely A Disgruntled Underling
Museum Of Bad Art


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SPAM FOR THE HOLIDAYS

MOBA's activities are entirely supported by sales Of MOBA gifts by our crass commercial subsidiary, Backyard Computing. Each November, they send both a gift catalog via email to the Friends Of MOBA as well as a printed catalog via US Mail to those who have no email.

To order any items from the ever burgeoning line of 100% genuine MOBArabilia contact, visit our online store at www.massbaytrading.com/moba.

*** VISA and Mastercard greedily accepted ***

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SUBSCRIBE TO THE MOBA NEWS

If you have any friends, relatives, neighbors etc. who are suitable candidates to become Friends Of MOBA -- send us their email address and we will begin the arduous induction process immediately.

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MOBA's Permanent Gallery

MOBA's Permanent Gallery is conveniently located 8 miles south of downtown Boston in the basement of the Dedham Community Theater, 580 High St, Dedham MA. The current exhibition "More Bad Art" features thirty recent acquisitions spanning the full range of the MOBA Permanent Collection.

Gallery opening hours are 6:30-10pm during the week and 1:30-10pm on weekends and holidays.

Admission to MOBA is always free, with steep discounts for children, senior citizens, local residents.





 

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