CHIQUITA Anonymous 48" x 24", oil on canvas Purchased at a thrift store, Boston, MA December 2006
Oblivious to the advancing lava flow, the lovely iconic tropical spokeswoman calmly gives us an alluring wink of the eye as all hell breaks loose behind her.
I'm Chiquita banana and I've come to say Bananas have to ripen in a certain way When they are fleck'd with brown and have a golden hue Bananas taste the best and are best for you You can put them in a salad You can put them in a pie-aye Any way you want to eat them It's impossible to beat them But, bananas like the climate of the very, very tropical equator So you should never put bananas in the refrigerator
GILDED NUDE Anonymous 24" x 18", oil on canvas Donated by Ian Michelson (New Zealand) November 2007
The viewer is struck immediately by the youthful female subject's oversized arm.
The artist seems to have been inspired by the work of Edgar Degas, an influential French Impressionist who spent many working hours observing and documenting the personal hygiene of women in the bathroom.
From: Museum of Bad Art: Masterworks, by Michael Frank and Louise Reilly Sacco, Ten Speed Press
AMAZONS AT PLAY Samson 4ft x 5ft, oil paint on plywood Found in their garage and donated by the Woulfe Family of Barrington, RI March 2013
We see a surreal misandric image of giants on a bucolic outing. Three young women play with flying machines and relieve themselves, while the only male in the scene is splayed open as a humiliated vessel. The artist took liberties with perspective, but paid meticulous attention to anatomic details such as the central figure's underboob shadows and thigh gap.
Museum curators believe this image was inspired by the controversial 1969 album cover of the English super-group Blind Faith featuring a photograph of a young girl holding a toy airplane.
PAULINE RESTING Anonymous 21.5" x 48", acrylic on canvas Rescued from trash in Boston, MA 1994
The cares of the day slip away and the first flush of sleep brings color to Pauline's innocent cheek.
MOBA curators believe this painting, as well as others in the collection, may have been affected by the artists' never having actually seen a naked woman.
He may have seen the cover art featured on Steve Hackett's (of Genesis) solo guitar album released in 1986.
This anonymous artist seems to have been inspired by the work of Amedeo Modigliani, an important Italian painter and sculptor who lived in in Paris in the early 20th Century.
Reclining Nude Amedeo Modigliani c.1917
Reclining Nude Amedeo Modigliani c.1919
From: The Museum of Bad Art: Art Too Bad to be Ignored, by Tom Stankowicz and Marie Jackson, A MOBA Publication
DISAPPOINTMENT Anonymous 32" x 24", oil on canvas Purchased by Kurt Beers at a farmer's market, New Castle, MD Donated by Doug Shive September 2006
Their sunburns, and the empty champagne bottle help explain the young man's regrettable inability to stay awake on the first night of his honeymoon. His new wife gazes blankly, wondering, "Is that all there is?"
From - Museum of Bad Art: Masterworks by Michael Frank and Louise Reilly Sacco, Ten Speed Press
NUDE ON A GREEN COUCH Malerba, 1999 24" x 16", acrylic on canvas Donated by Jay Schumann September 2011
The model, whose red hair matches the wall color almost perfectly, leans to her right in a pose designed to help the artist avoid the difficulty of portraying her hands. In doing so, she seems to have dislocated her left hip.
THE BETTER TO SEE YOU, MY DEAR Anonymous 20" x 16", oil on canvas Acquired in a barter with bARTercauce.com November 2007
Attempting to combat the pervasive sense of isolation rampant in modern society, the artist presents a bold post-cubist image that compels the viewer to make direct eye contact.
THE STARE Anonymous 21” x 19”, acrylic on canvas Purchased at an antique market in Brimfield, MA and donated by Suzanne Beaton November 2016
This is an intriguing life study of a red haired man with very long appendages wearing nothing but a pinkie ring. The viewer is left to speculate about the cause of the massive hematoma on his left buttock.
FEMININE FECUNDITY Anonymous 26" x 36", oil on canvas Purchased in Havana, Cuba November 2011
Damp tropical heat radiates from this surreal depiction of shapely female fertility. Among the interesting details are the vine emanating from the navel of the figure on the right, and the north/south/east/west divergence of her friend's bosom.
SUNDAY ON THE POT WITH GEORGE John Gedraitis 37" x 22", acrylic on canvas Donated by Jim Schulman 1994
Can the swirling steam melt away the huge weight of George's corporate responsibilities?
A fine example of labor intensive pointlessism, this painting is curious for the artist's meticulous attention to fine detail such as the stitching around the edge of the towel, in contrast to the almost careless disregard for the subject's feet.
From: The Museum of Bad Art: Art Too Bad to be Ignored, by Tom Stankowicz and Marie Jackson, a MOBA Publication
THE ITCH Anonymous 28" x 22", oil on canvas Donated by Paul Abercrombie May 2017
A lovely young woman with thick raven-black hair is portrayed simultaneously scratching her right side with her left hand and the back of her neck with her right. She appears to be "double-jointed." Her blissful smile possibly indicates temporary relief from a tortuous case of scabies.
JAMES THE MALE MODEL Anonymous 20" x 16", oil on canvas purchased at a thrift store in Boston, MA July 2007
Humiliated by being asked to pose wearing nothing but a Davy Crockett hat, James reflected upon the fact that his modeling career was dwindling and made a silent vow to stop eating sweets and to renew his membership at the gym.
WOMAN RIDING CRUSTACEAN Anonymous 12" x 16", oil on canvas Found in Greenwich Village in the 1980s by Josh Einhorn Donated by Linda L. Carruba May 2008
Possibly inspired by Debra Winger riding a mechanical bull in Urban Cowboy (1980), this image of what appears to be a blow-up doll mounted atop a giant lobster looks unfinished. It may be a study for a larger, hopefully more erotically realized, work.
LADY WITH BIG PANTS Anonymous 4ft x 5.5ft, oil on canvas
Reclining on a daybed in a pose reminiscent of Goya's "Nude Maja" , the faceless Reubenesque model proudly displays her very large, and perfectly aligned, feet.
LIFE ON A BARSTOOL Anonymous 60" x 36", oil on canvas Purchased at a yard sale in Boston, MA July, 1998
A pretty face or skinny figure, which is more attractive? Are looks everything? The artist peels away layers to find what's inside is actually not more important. Through teeth clenched around a black rose, she spits her response, "Set 'em up Joe."
LONG ARM OF THE LAW Farleigh Goss 2' x 4' , Oil on canvas Purchased at a Boston thrift store in Boston, MA October 2005
Bare-breasted blind Lady Justice is portrayed here in a variation on a traditional subject. Rather than cover her face with a blindfold, the artist depicted her with no eyes. While she is often seen holding the scales of justice, a sword, and/or a book, she is in this painting juggling a ball of dreaded kryptonite in her ample hand at the end of the long arm of the law.
From: Museum of Bad Art: Masterworks, by Michael Frank and Louise Reilly Sacco
MRS. SPOCK K. Madden 18" x 9", oil on canvas
A young woman boldly turns to gaze at the viewer. She holds a flower of precisely the same color as her piercing blue eyes.
NOW AND THEN Anonymous 38" x 38", acrylic on canvas 1995
Using a double-exposure technique, the artist explores the impact of a rigid world on the female body and spirit over time. The use of a single strong color for walls, chair, nails, and lips comments on the here and now. Yet the past is omnipresent. The outline of a hidden door to the left of the yellow vertical beam bleeds through, and on the subject's face, the smile of former times lingers on paler lips.
OLE OLE, OLE OLE Pam 20" x 16", acrylic on canvas Purchased in a thrift store in Boston, MA September 2008
After 4 days and 3 nights all inclusive partying on the beach, Betty could not imagine flying home and going back to the office.
SAD TEENAGER Vlademar Cher, Sweden (2005) 9" x 12", pastel crayon and acrylic pain Donated by the artist January 2008
A young woman is portrayed lying on her stomach with her hands on her chin and her legs kicking in the air in this portrait of teenage ennui. She seems to have no joie de vivre. She also has no pants.
Working many years later with totally different media and probably on a different continent, Cher may have employed the same model as the anonymous artist who painted Sad Baby (MOBA #259)
SELF PORTRAIT Fred Stein 5' x 3', oil on Canvas Donated by the artist September 2006
In this life sized self-portrait, the artist portrays himself as an immodest street performer in the City by the Bay. His canine facial features make this painting reminiscent of Mari Newman's "Bone Juggling Dog In a Hula Skirt" (MOBA #214).
SILICONE CLOUDS Anonymous 36"x36", oil on canvas Anonymous donation August 2007
Perky Reubenesque clouds float in a cerulean sky.
From: Museum of Bad Art: Masterworks, by Michael Frank and Louise Reilly Sacco
QUEEN OF HEARTS Jack Hudson, 2006 36" x 24", acrylic on masonite Donated by the artist December 2010
Wearing uncomfortable high heel pumps and an ill-fitting sheer body suit, the plus size woman struggles to fit into her allotted space in this painting. The artist may have intended to challenge society's definition of feminine beauty, or simply run out of room.
THE CONTORTIONIST A. LivLaing Bradford 14" x 18", acrylic on canvas Purchased at a thrift store in Boston, MA June 2008
Looking somewhat uncomfortable, the lithe female subject is confined to the shape of the canvas in this revealing portrait.Looking somewhat uncomfortable, the lithe female subject is confined to the shape of the canvas in this revealing portrait.
THE CUPBOARD WAS BARE Pangorda 30" x 24", mixed media
In this complex narrative, the artist addresses how we perceive and the fear of how we are perceived. The faceless female form hesitates. Terror grips the little dog. His left paw pushes, as if to say "you go first." The largest figure lurks behind, holding his pet, but not his mate. The choice of spectacles is confirmation that the artist is conflicted at the prospect of emerging. Yet when the hinged door is opened, we find he has nothing to hide.
From: The Museum of Bad Art: Art Too Bad to be Ignored, by Tom Stankowicz and Marie Jackson, A MOBA Publication
HALF POLYNESIAN, HALF NORWEGIAN Roger Hanson (2003) 36" x 10", acrylic on canvas Donated by the artist 1995
Her bright blond hair, the posy offered in clasped hands, and her simple smile suggest sweetness and youth. But her brown body with round hips, broad shoulders, and forearms that seem ready to push the frame aside belong to a strong woman. She is a natural blond.
THE LAST DANCE Artist Unknown (possibly posthumous work of Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec) 60" x 60", oil on canvas Anonymous donation May 2008
This may be a late (posthumous) work of iconoclastic French painter Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec. The painting features his trademark subject of the Moulin Rouge dancer in her feathered head-piece and colorful dress. With a stylized Montmartre and the white domed Basilica of Sacre Coeur in the background surrounded by the lights of the rich music hall scene, the artist captures that agonizing moment when an aging can-can dancer removes her dance shoes for the last time. In her turned head and sorrowful expression the artist depicts the inner pain and deep sense of loss that the subject feels in this final act as a dancer. The green tint of her skin symbolizes the envy she feels for the young girl she imagines taking her place on stage. "The Last Dance" is not only a candid glimpse into the sadness at the end of the dancer's time in the spotlight but a personal admission to the end of this unique artist's own career. He paints not in his trademark poster style, but borrows heavily from his contemporary and yet unknown Vincent van Gogh with heavy unblended brush strokes and from the younger Wassily Kandinsky with swirling color that foreshadows the new modern abstract movement that will follow Lautrec's death. On his deathbed he is rumored to have spoken these immortal words, "La vie est trop courte" ("life is too short") as statement on his death and a personal joke about his stature.
Guest Interpretator: Bob Sepulveda
WINGED PIXIE Otto 24" x 8", acrylic on canvas Donated by Sarah Derven 1996
Holy Gossamer Wings, Batman, what have we here! A diminutive dancing body, taut with energy, frantic in its attempts to flee an over active mind. The facial expression recalls a deer caught in the headlights. The limbs stretched to twig-like hands, ready to snap. The artist captures the tension of frantic activity coupled with indecision in this portrait of the incredible shrinking woman.
WOMAN ON A BLANKET Jenia Molnar, 1985 16” x 20”, oil on canvas Donated by the artist June 2014
The artist asked her model to lie on the floor next to a waste paper basket. The painting is not a typical life study, but rather suggestive of a crime scene photo.
NUDE WITH FOLDING CHAIR Anonymous 20" x 16", acrylic on canvas board Recovered from trash in Rumford, RI and donated by Rose Shaw May 2009
The subject of this life study is depicted listing slightly to port; shrinking away from his purple shadow that looms menacingly. His pain must be physical as well as psychic, as one of the legs of the chair on which he leans (which are portrayed in an impossible Escher-esque “flip”) sits squarely on his left foot.
COFFEE BREAK (WOMAN WITH MUFFIN) William Niewiarowski, February 1978 30" x 14", oil on canvas Purchased at the Brimfield, MA Antique Fair May 2010
Looking totally relaxed as she strikes a classic pose, a woman with neatly trimmed hair wears only high heel slides that accentuate her slender ankles.
Her nudity distracts most viewers from noticing her unusual right hand, with which she gracefully holds a cup of steaming java.
WOMAN WITH WASHBOARD ABS William Niewiarowski (May 1975) 20"x16", oil on canvas Purchased at the Brimfield, MA Antique Fair May 2010
It is unclear whether the petite life-model's well defined abdominal muscles were the result of her commitment to good nutrition and vigorous exercise or the artist's wish to portray her in a most favorable light.
THE SUNBURN Anonymous 28” x 24”, acrylic on canvas Purchased at a thrift shop in Boston, MA October 2016
A young woman realizes she has made a terrible mistake as she wakes from an ill-advised nap on her first day in the tropics.
LONELINESS IN A BLUE LAGOON Amal Haidan, 1977 70cm x 50cm, acrylic on canvas Rescued from curbside trash in Ottawa, Canada and donated by Guillaume Poirer April 2009
Her loneliness is the least of this young woman's problems. Her visit to the Blue Lagoon has resulted in what promises to be a painful sunburn!
FREEDOM BEACH Anonymous 16" x 20", oil on canvas Purchased at a thrift store in Boston, MA March 2007
This hastily executed impressionist painting effectively reminds us that, even if only optional, clothing is advisable when practicing yoga on a tropical beach to avoid hatha sunburn.
GINA'S DEMONS Gina 20" x 28", oil on canvas Purchased at a flea market near Northampton, MA and donated by M. J. Maccardini & Erin Howe May 2006
Frightening non-kosher demons haunt this blonde, blue-eyed beauty in a see-through blouse. Her world is cracking apart at the edges, but her careful hairdo and makeup show us that she knows it’s important to keep up appearances.
From: Museum of Bad Art: Masterworks, by Michael Frank and Louise Reilly Sacco
HEAD FROM HELL (NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN) Tina Thomas created in Austin, Texas (~1986-90) Acrylic on canvas Donated by Susan Grant
A blood curdling scream from the fires below. A lost soul cries out in agony, eyes upward, forever to be taunted by the reclining though erect satyr, a spitting image of the Barberini Faun, who is just out of reach. This brilliant reworking of one of Art's oldest subjects -- recasting the cloven hoofed, horned one into a youthful virile stud is a refreshingly original treatment of an age-old theme.
A Day at the Clothing Optional Beach
FIVE LEGS Anonymous 40" x 30", Acrylic on canvas Purchased at a thrift shop in Boston, MA January 2015
The model may have been reluctant to pose without a shirt, leaving the artist no choice but to concentrate on the chair in this unusual life study.
GREEN GODDESS Anonymous 36" x 24", oil on canvas Donated by Gayle and Bob from Florida
A green-skinned nymphet, her bottom skinned by barnacles, sadly pondering her return to the depths of the murky ocean in the face of an unpleasant storm.